The Purple Bag Club

After we made our first payment we made our way towards the nurses office. All I could think about was the infamous "purple bag". I first heard about it on the Fertilicare website where I chat with other Infertiles and I couldn't wait to have my very own purple bag...LOL

We walked into the office and there they were. Tons of them all over the place. Mine had already been seperated from the rest and was placed on the desk. We sat down and she explained about the anti-biotics and this and that and blah blah blah. My mind was only focused on one thing. The purple bag...and it's contents.

Finally we got to open it and the nurse showed me how to mix all 3 amps of Menopur with the little bit of water. Then it was time to inject myself and once again, I am not sure if it was the adrenalin or the fact that I was so excited to FINALLY be starting, but I just was not as nervous about injecting myself as I thought I would be.

She guided my hands and a minute later we were done. There was no pain as the needle went in, just a little bit of burning as the medication was injected.

For the first time we left Vitalab feeling hopeful and optimistic.

KENAKO.........It's Time!!!!!!!

The Verdict!!!

DH and I went to Mcdonalds for coffee and muffins. It was the easiest way to kill time while waiting for the dreaded blood results. I had a deelish chop chip muffin and a yummy Cappucino.

9am...and it was finally time. We arrived back at the Clinic and as instructed went straight back to the nurses rooms to check if the results were back. A nurse, that we had never seen before, asked for my name and told me to take a seat while she checks. Dh and I noticed a real contrast at this point. Vitalab's nurses are either super friendly or quite serious. We definitely prefer friendly.

As we sat and waited I found myself getting extremely tense. I kept thinking there was no way I would be able to handle another delay. And before I could even finish the thought, here comes another nurse around the corner announcing to the world "Mr and Mrs M ...YOU ARE GOOD TO GO!!!"

Those words were like music to my ears. I could see clouds parting and hear angels singing. I wanted to jump up and give her a hug but all I could manage was a spontaneous outburst of tears. I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. Thank you God...

***Huge Sigh of Relief***

AF arrived on Sunday morning....woohoo!!!!!!!!!

So we were up bright and early yesterday so that we could be at Vitalab at 7am for our scan. I noticed that as tired as I was, it's amazing how much energy you have once the adrenalin kicks in from all the excitement and the nerves.

We didn't have to wait long before my name was called and it was our turn. As we sat waiting in Scan Room 4 I found myself silently praying. I asked God to remove all obstacles so that we could have the family we so desire (or at least try).

The nurse walked in and I started to feel very anxious. She started the scan and I immediately recognised the black blob on the screen to be the dreaded cyst. I asked if it was and she wouldn't say anything. I started to tense up thinking to myself "This cannot possibly be happening to me again".

Finally, the nurse piped up and said that even though it is still there, the cyst is now 11cm as apposed to the 21cm it was at the last scan and that it was dissolving. At this point the only thing I wanted to know was if this was going to delay us starting IVF again???

She explained that I would have to go for bloods and that if the bloods showed that the cyst was releasing hormones then we would not be able to start but if not then we would be okay.

So off we went downstairs to the blood lab and after we were done we were told that we now had to wait 1hr for the results....Seriously????????

The time is near!!!

So, I swallowed my last contraceptive pill last night. I can't believe how fast 18 days went by. I guess it had to do with me not constantly thinking about it. Also helped that I was really busy at work.

Dr V said AF should arrive 2 - 3 days after the last pill so now I wait. I am trying my best not to overthink it but I guess it's always at the back of my mind. Last night I even had a dream about IVF and guess what? At the end there was a POSITIVE result!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!

I must say, I think I am doing really well not stressing about it. Just taking it one day at a time.

I am so over this week. I wish Friday would get here already!!!

Crabby and Confused???

Ever since we were told of the delay in our IVF journey, I honestly think I have handled it pretty well. I haven't given it much thought and honestly my plan has been to just go on with life as I did before all this came to pass. I thought it was working well too.

But this morning for some reason I just woke up feeling tired and crabby. DH got the brunt of it and then it was the turn of any and every "idiot" that crossed my path. I was like the devil in-carnate.

Then I got to thinking...

I am seriously clueless. I know nothing about IVF. Granted, we have spoken to the fertility coordinator and we understand the process but I know nothing about the details. What are they actually looking for? What constitutes a "good quality" egg.

I have read IVF blogs and some of the things mentioned I have never even heard of. Now I start to question myself. Am I really ready. Do I need to maybe research it more, or should I just leave well enough alone. Maybe it's best not to know too much. My FS knows what he is doing and what he is looking for and I trust that he will do everything possible to help us get this baby that we so desire.

Ai ai ai, I am so confused...

I hate Barbie...the B**** has everything!!!!

A friend of mine sent me the link to this blog and I thought it is just too funny not to share :-)

http://tertia.typepad.com/so_close/2004/05/ivf_barbie.html

REALLY????

Dr V walked into the room and greeted us in his normal cheerful way. He asked if we were ready to start IVF and I couldn't help but think to myself..."are you ever really ready?"

He started the internal scan and you would never believe what happened next. Okay okay, maybe you will, but I couldn't.

Within 2 minutes of the scan he announces that we will not be starting today. I was crushed. I didn't know what to think or what to feel. I was numb.

He went on to explain that I had what they call a Corpus Luteum. It is a form of a cyst but very insiginificant and is where the egg was released from in my last cycle. It is taking up space in the ovary and so they can't start me on stimms. Instead, I was given the pill of which I am to take only the active pills for 18 days. 2-3 days after I take the last pill, AF should arrive, corpus luteum free, and we should be able to start on CD2 again.

I left there feeling empty but soon realised that I cannot stress over things I have no control over. I have to to stay positive...I just HAVE to!!!!!

IT'S TIME!!!!!!

The days leading up to AF's arrival were pure torture. The day I started spotting I literally couldn't breathe. It made me realise the time was almost here. Little did I know that the spotting would continue for another 4days :-(

Finally on Thursday night AF showed. I have never been so happy to see her...EVER!!!!

Saturday, 02 October was our first scan and was supposed to mark the start of our IVF journey. DH and I were up bright and early. The scans start at 7am and are done on a first come first serve basis. I was way to anxious to go and sit there for hours before someone could see to us so I put the pressure on and we managed to get there just before 7.

We went upstairs and put my name on the list, then sat down and waited patiently for my name to be called. The wait wasn't too long and when I finally heard my name I suddenly got major butterflies. DH was allowed to come into the scan room with me (it was his first time), and as we sat there waiting for the doc to arrive it suddenly hit me......"THIS IS REAL".


I was SUPER excited...