It's Over :-(

It has taken me a while to be able to update my blog with the result of the blood test. I couldn't bring myself to relive the moment.

Needless to say, it was a BIG FAT NEGATIVE!!!!!

DH and I were in shock. After 3 positive home tests, that was certainly not the result we were expecting. We went in all hopeful and left there absolutely crushed.

After lot of tears and a few emotionally draining talks, we have decided to put baby making on the back burner for now and instead just learn to enjoy our marriage and each other again. It's been a long stressful year for us and it's time to just enjoy being healthy and ALIVE!!!

I have 2 days left at work and then I am off for 3 weeks for our annual shutdown. I cannot wait to just relax on the beach, get some sun and fresh air and spend lots of time with our family.

Next year will be a fresh start for us...

I cannot wait to see what the future holds. I promise to never again let my life be totally consumed by my intense desire to have a baby and be a mother. I have so many amazing people in my life. People who make everything I do so much more meaningful. I am a very lucky girl and honestly, if I am not destined to have children, it won't make my life any less meaningful. I am leaving it in God's hands. He will do what's right for us.

If there is one important thing that I have learnt from all this, it's that no matter what we do, WE HAVE NO CONTROL!!!! Whatever will be will be...