Monday, November 22, 2010

I am such a weakling!!!!

I have never been the most patient person in the world and the two week wait to get the result of this IVF cycle was seriously killing me, so, I decided to Pee on a Stick (POAS).

Thursday morning was the first test I did. Sadly it was a big fat negative (BFN). Surprisingly, I wasn't too phased because I thought it might still be too early for a home pregnancy test(HPT) to pick up anything. Friday morning, same thing (BFN), and by now I was starting to get worried.

It was my mum's birthday on Fri, and my entire family was here from PMB so we decided to give her a surprise party. It was such a fantastic night. Everybody had tons of fun and most importantly, they managed to take my mind off that mornings result.

My sister has a 3 month old daughter and when we were chatting, before she came up to JHB, she mentioned that she still had a HPT with her from when she was testing in January. Of course I told to her bring it with her and on Saturday morning I tested again.

This time I got a very feint second line. I immediately called her upstairs to have a look, just to make sure I was not seeing things or imagining the second line. She saw it too. I wanted to get excited but just couldn't...not yet. I even decided to not tell my DH as I didn't want to get his hopes up until I, myself, was sure.

Sunday was excruciating. I was dying to test again but had no more HPT's with me. Later that afternoon, we went to fetch my mum from my cousin's place, and bring her home with us, and I managed to convince DH to take me to the pharmacy.

We walked over to the tests and lo and behold there it was, I couldn't believe it....The Clearblue digital home pregnancy test. I just told DH abt it a few months earlier but couldn't find it anywhere. It was quite popular amongst the American girls and so I was thrilled to finally get one of my very own.

Because I knew I wouldn't be able to wait until the next morning I also bought a regular Clearblue test, just for good measure...LOL

Back home and straight upstairs. Would you believe, there it was again...a feint second line but definitely darker than the day before. This time I took it downstairs and showed it to DH and my mum. They both could see the second line. My hands started shaking like a leaf. Once again there was this feeling of excitement trying to rear it's head while doubt kinda pushed it back down again. I could see that DH felt the same way. I guess we were just protecting ourselves from getting hurt and after all that we had just been through, nobody could really blame us.

What I was looking forward to, however, was the digital test the next morning. There would be no wondering if it is a second line or if you are seeing things. It would be clear as day "PREGNANT" or "NOT PREGNANT".

That night I hardly slept. I was so anxious and kept waking up at all hours checking the time, anxiously awaiting 5am when my alarm would go off and it would be time to test. When it finally did go off, I was out of bed like a flash of lightning. Straight into the bathroom and away we gooooo...

I must have been in there like 1 minute when DH shouts from the bedroom "What's the result?". That's when I knew he was as nervous as I was...LOL

3 minutes later I looked over and there it was "PREGNANT 1-2" (Meaning 1-2 weeks) which they say would be calculated as 3-4 weeks by a doctor, based on a 28 day cycle.

I couldn't believe my eyes. I went straight out to DH and showed it to him. He was smiling from ear to ear. It was the most surreal moment in my life.

Funny enough, even after all that, I still spent the rest of the day looking for reassurance and wondering if this was really happening to us.

Tomorrow morning we go for our blood test and then we will know for sure. No more questions...we will be 110% sure.

1 more sleep and our lives could change forever!!!!!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Eagles have landed :-)

Tuesday morning, once again, we were at Vitalab bright and early. We were so excited that sitting in the waiting room for 15 minutes felt like an eternity.


Finally we were ushered into Dr J's office where we sat and discussed our embryo's and the procedure. Dr J assured us that we had two perfect embryo's. One was already divided to 8 cells and the other 9 cells so he was quite pleased. He showed us pics and even e-mailed me a copy.


8 CELL EMBRYO





9 CELL EMBRYO



He went on to explain that the embryo's are in a little casing. He said that by Thurs or Fri they would have split to 120 cell and that is when they break out of this casing and implant. The next step was to go downstairs to the theatre and fill up my bladder.


Now this was a mission. I was so anxious to go in and get this done that I drank the first 3 glasses in record time. The problem with this was my tummy got really full and I started to feel nauseous. I told the nurse that I felt like my bladder was full so in we went. I lay on the table, hubby by my side, and the nurse put a cold gel onto my tummy. Then she did an ultrasound and only to find that my bladder was NOT full enough and I needed to drink more. She said that I did't need to drink too much more because the other water is probably still filtering through to my bladder...LOL


Back to the waiting room and one more glass was all I could manage before I really felt the need to Wee. So, off to the theatre we go and this time she says it is perfect. Nice and full.


I cannot even explain how uncomfortable I was. Dr J started the procedure by inserting a catheter into the uterus. The lab staff then bring the embryo's through in another softer catheter and insert it through the one already there. DH and I are told to watch the screen closely as the embryo's are injected. There was a bright flash and that was it. My potential children were inside me, safe and sound. The lab staff then put the catheter under a microsope to make sure nobody got left behind.




I had to go back to waiting room now and sit there for 10minutes with an extremely full bladder. Seriously??? I didn't think I was going to make it...hehe


So now we were given all the meds I will need to take as well as our testing date.



23 November 2010 ~~~The day that our lives may change forever~~~

Monday, November 8, 2010

I LOVE this Poem

Please note this poem was not posted with the intention of offending anyone who conceived without effort. It is just special to me.


I Will be a wonderful Mother ~ Author Unknown


There are women who become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss, and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.


I will be better not because of genetics or money or because I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.


I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.


I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore, and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.


I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.


I count myself lucky in this sense, that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child, I will not be careless with my love.


I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.


YES, I WILL BE A WONDERFUL MOTHER...

Fertilisation Update

We were told that we will get a call on Sunday and Monday to update us on how the embryo's are coming along.

Well Sunday morning, at 9am sharp, the embryologist called. She said that one egg was immature and one didn't take at all.

The other 2 FERTILISED!!!!!

One through ICSI and the other without.

Woohooo!!!!!!!!

Monday morning, 9am sharp, another call. This time to let us know we have 2 beautiful 6 cell embryo's ready to be implanted the next morning.

I am so stinking excited. I cannot wait for my 2 embabies to be put back safely into their mama bear.

Week 2

Week 2 came with a few scans.

CD7 Scan (Sat, 30 October)

First scan revealed that we had 5 follicles with the largest 2 measuring 11mm's. The FS assured us that it is still early days but I couldn't help but wonder if this was good or bad.

CD10 Scan (Tues, 02 November)

This scan showed the same amount of follies but the largest 2 had now grown to 14mm's +. We were told to come back on Thurs and we should have a pretty good idea when egg retrieval would be done.

CD12 Scan (Thurs, 04 November)

This scan was a bit nerve wracking. We were told the largest 2 were 19mm's and there was a 3rd that was 18mm's. Dr V said that ER would be Sat morning but that we would only get 2-3 eggs. This left me feeling very uneasy and anxious. FS said not to worry cos you only need 1 good egg to get pregnant but I really couldn't help it.


EGG RETRIEVAL

The next day went by in a blur. We were up bright and early on Saturday morning. Arrived at the clinic at 06:45 and waited outside the theatre for a bit. Just after 7am we were let in and I was given 2 gowns to change into. I was then shown to my bed. Hubby's sperm sample was checked and he was told that it was good. The look on his face was priceless. I amazes me how the men really only have 1 job throughout this process and they stress so intensely about it. Can you just imagine what they would do if they went through as much as us?

There were 2 other girls also having ER done and I was 2nd to go in. I said my goodbyes to hubby and was wheeled into theatre. Dr J found it hard to find a vein for the drugs and I could see he was getting a little frustrated. On the 4th poke he finally got it right but by then I was in tears. Luckily 2 seconds later I was out cold.

I woke up soon after in the recovery room. A bit dazed I looked around me and saw a nurse close by. The first thing I could think to do was call her over and ask her how many eggs we got. That was when she pointed to my hand...



Week 1

Week 1 was eventful, to say the least.

Personally, I thought I did an excellent job of the injections. I didn't squeal with pain. I was very brave. It only burnt a little as the medication went in but the actual jab wasn't bad at all.

DH was awesome and even though he would never have helped with administering it, he woke up early every day and came downstairs with me for moral support.

The side effects were minimal. I did suffer with some really bad headaches but not very often. I kept up my 3l of water a day and I truly believe that helped a lot.

In the midst of all this we celebrated our 1st anniversary. DH planned a romantic getaway to the Magaliesburg mountains. It was such an awesome surprise and exactly what we needed. He dropped Luigi off with the lady who so kindly takes care of him when we go away, and he didn't tell me a thing. I only found out on Friday afternoon when the first thing I asked when I got home was "where is the doggie?".

We could only go for one night because we had an early morning scan on Saturday.

After the scan we went straight to Builders to choose the colour of our laminated wooden floors. Then it was off to breakfast at Wimpy and Woolies to pick up some snacks for our trip.

The drive up to the place was tedious with lots of steep dirt roads but it was so worth it. The place was stunning and so peaceful. We were the only guests there for most of the afternoon and spent our time lounging at the pool, reading magazines, chatting and just generally chilling.

We also managed to squeeze in an afternoon nap and the Currie Cup Final...GO SHARKS!!!!!!

All in all, an awesome Anni. I love my DH so so much...

Pics of the place were we stayed...Kashan Country House